We've come to it at last. The next big event to be examined, and it's the most recent event comic released. It's one that I considered looking at the moment that it ended, but didn't. I didn't want to let my initial thoughts on the series be the ones I wrote. Of course, as the books for Secret Wars came out, my thoughts changed. By the end I had a much different opinion of the book than when it began, but now that we're here and doing some in-depth analysis of the cataclysmic conclusion to Jonathan Hickman's two "Avengers" story? Time to back my claim that Secret Wars 2015 was average.
It'd definitely the biggest event comic in recent years, too, or at least since Flashpoint five years ago. All of Marvel's book hit the cancellation wall and were replaced with various miniseries tie-ins to this monthly-ish book. While it wasn't a reboot to all that came before, it did buy the company some time to do an eight-month time skip by the time their books were back (and before this book had finished, mind you) so that they could conveniently have Peter Parker running his own global company.
Another reason I didn't want to do this review right as the book had ended was that I was still butthurt from the delays it received. I wanted that effect to wear off on me so that I could give this a fair review. After all: if you were to read this from a trade, you wouldn't know there were any delays in the book's production. You might notice it given the jarring change in story between Issues 5 and 6, but you wouldn't at first know it.
But yeah, Secret Wars. Starting way back when Hickman took over the Avengers book, there's been this ongoing thread of stories about these Incursions. Just before Avengers and X-Men: AXIS, the book jumped eight months ahead to where the Incursions were becoming a serious problem and the Avengers/ Illuminati (a subgroup that involves some of the world's greatest minds like Black Panther and Stephen Strange) had no means of stopping it. However, they soon discovered who it was that behind all of these universes coming to an end: Victor von Doom.
After growing desperate to save their own world, it came down to one final showdown: the Ultimate universe and the main Marvel universe were set to collide. If one could destroy the other's Earth, then there was a long-shot that they may survive.
But that's where the first issue picks up. For now, we have to look at the zero issue.
Another thing I'm not going to do is analyze the covers like I normally would, but I will break up what issues are being looked at through their covers. Besides, this one is just crammed, anyway.
For the most part, the Zero Issue doesn't hold much information outside of what I just mentioned. It was a Free Comic Book Day exclusive that was meant for new readers to the series (like me) to see what'd been going on with the Avengers and how they might dodge the big, imminent throwdown. It stars the Future Foundation, headed by Valeria and Franklin Richards, the children of Reed and Sue Richards, while it also includes characters like Dragon.
Basically, the book entails Valeria explaining the science mumbo-jumbo while Franklin details the history of how the heroes tried to stop the Incursions, with someone like Namor even going so far as the wipe another universe out of reality. Another group, the Cabal, also formed as a counter to the Illuminati, headed by our fun-loving "I'll do it myself in the movies" Thanos the Mad Titan. However, everyone was ineffectual, and the first half of the book ends with Ultimate Iron Man charging the main Marvel Universe with Helicarriers spawning behind him.
It's an okay issue, and it was pretty informative for someone looking to know just who they heck these people are and what they're doing. It was free, so I can't complain about having to pay four or five dollars for the thing. The real kicker for the book, though, is the second half, which includes this:
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| No, seriously, why wasn't this a full-issue one-shot? |
The true, main, non-exposition (well...until the second issue, anyway) begins with darkness. Great. Someone forgot to turn the lights on at Marvel again.
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| It's actually God waving a flashlight in your eyes to mess with you while you sleep. |
It is strange that we don't get to see the Beyonders themselves, and that they're instead just a bunch of energy outside of reality. It's not like they don't have a physical form, and it just seems silly that Dr. Doom would confront a purple space cloud. Maybe it's just me, but it's very reminiscent of how Galactus was turned into a giant space-cloud in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. That's not a very good start if that movie is what we're comparing this to. But, it's still awesome to see Dr. Doom stand tall against them prepared to fight.
We cut over to Manhattan on Earth-1610, the Ultimate Universe, as Maker (Ultimate Reed Richards) speaks with Samuel L. Jackson, er, I mean, Ultimate Nick Fury, about how they're on a one-way street for Manhattan of Earth-616.
It's here that the mistrust between the characters in the Ultimate Universe is at it's finest. Maker doesn't even really care about how they fight, just so long as they buy him time with the City. In fact, as we find out, he's been working with the Cabal the whole time. Sadly, though, this is an annoying trope I've seen more and more of lately.
The scientist will often use the bruisers just to buy him time and then end up betraying them and saying he has no need for others because they aren't as smart as him. It's become common with mad scientists in fiction of late and it's rather annoying. Sure, Maker isn't a good guy, but Hickman sort of wrote himself in a corner with this one. There would be no other way to write Maker without making him seem like a straight-up jerk to these guys. It's one of the reasons why I never really got into the Ultimate Universe. Everyone but Spider-Man feels off and everyone for a while was a jerk (Ultimate Tony Stark being the worst, as we'll soon see). I'm not "happy" that the Ultimate Universe is ending, but I am glad to know that we won't have to see Hawkeye try to shoot people anymore.
Back on Earth 616, we see that the Fantastic Four and Future Foundation are hard at work on a life raft while the heroes of Earth all charge in to buy them some time. There's even some inconsistency in the panels as Spider-Man is seen web-swinging up to the Helicarriers in one shot, and then is down on the ground in the very next panel. Good job!
Black Widow is together trying to get the majority of the life-raft group to the Baxter Building, which is taking heavy fire.
This page, while interesting, throws me off because of the artwork. Actually, most of the book throws me off because of the artwork, and it's mostly because of Reed and Sue. They're just sort of staring with their mouths open as if they should be drooling. Sue in particular looks funny. Esad Ribic does the art for the series and it really does not get better. Noses are huge on the faces of his Richard's girls and Sue never looks right. He draws most of the other characters just fine throughout, but the Richards family was just one he didn't seem to grasp. Another odd art thing: Spider-Woman has grey hair. Weird.
The battle rages on, though, as Ultimate Tony Stark starts to lay waste to Manhattan and the heroes try to fight off his army as best they can. Cyclops arrives with Sentinels and the Guardians of the Galaxy also arrive...because. She-Hulk, Hulk, and Colossus all target the main Helicarrier that Ultimate Fury is in and...oh, what the heck...
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| I can't even...what?! |
With the Helicarrier down and She-Hulk doing...whatever, Nick Fury finally calls forth Maker to go through with his big plan, which he does. Apparently, he was just biding time for his own life-raft, though this one significantly larger and more deadly than the one that the main heroes are trying to create. Basically, it's a doomsday weapon while doubling as a shield against that weapon. Oh, and Miles Morales!
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| Don't worry, Miles, I've had the same thoughts reading this book, too. |
After things start to go south, we get a freaking awesome moment with the Punisher meeting up with several of New York's biggest street-level baddies.
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| I have no words. This is just really cool. |
So anyway, onto the important stuff: the life raft crew-people get blown up, forcing Reed to assemble another group of people that could possibly repopulate the soon-to-not-exist-Earth, including Peter Quill, Spider-Man, Thor, and Captain Marvel, amongst the others still in the life-raft. This all while Cyclops becomes the Phoenix and other heroes begin to get taken out.
I should be mad about that sort of thing, or at least feel something about it, but the book has already established that the entire universe is going to end. Everyone that isn't in the life raft is going to be gone soon. So when Rocket Raccoon gets wasted by a laser bullet from off-panel, it sucks but it's also just there as a shock death. The only real tension is with the crew aboard the life-raft and if they'll be able to get away in time before the Incursion takes hold of everything.
They do...or at least, some of them do.
As Captain Marvel and Reed Richards make incredibly goofy expressions, everything around them begins to fade back to white and the issue closes with nothing just as it began.
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| Seriously?! The faces! |
So...about the survivors: Reed, Black Panther, Star-Lord, Spider-Man, Thor, Cyclops, and Captain Marvel. I read an article a few months ago proposing this question: if this story took place ten years ago, would these characters have survived? I found that to be an interesting topic, and I think the answer is no. I don't think there's a chance in the world that Star-Lord, Black Panther, Thor, or Captain Marvel would have survived in that life-raft. I could instead see characters like Captain America, Wolverine, and maybe some other big names. Black Panther is the one that I go back and forth on sometimes. But why Star Lord or Captain Marvel?
You conspiracy theorists will postulate that it's because they're such big names now and it'll keep readers hooked to see when they'll be back. Why are they big names? Because of their relevance in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. However, that doesn't make much sense for Captain Marvel, who doesn't get her movie for a good while now. I don't particularly like the idea of the MCU being a driving force behind the comics, though there is more and more evidence in favor of that, and while I do think this is a diverse crowd, most of them will peter out to just being forgotten by the end of the story, which is a shame.
Still, though, this first issue does leave us on a dour now. The Marvel and Ultimate universes are over (pft, yeah, okay) and those that had the best chance of survival are now dead, vaporized by the final Incursion. The fate of our heroes is left unknown, though that does lead to very little dramatic tension. The battle throughout this book should feel climactic and with purpose, but once the life rafts start to take off I stop caring about the fates of those on the ground. At this point, they're fighting just because and it becomes boring padding. The art by Esad Ribic in this issue is good but his facial expressions range from "meh" to "oh my God get that off the page right now."
The second issue opens with a young man standing before Mjlonir while another young man that looks just like him watches.
They're attempting to pull Mjolnir from the spot to see if they are worthy to become a Thor. Yes, you read that right. In this story, in Battleworld, rather, the Thors are the peacekeepers of the realm and their test is to pull a Mjolnir from the spot to see if they are worthy. There are hundreds of Thors rather than just one an most of them, of course, look the same. Except Beta Ray Bill, who is still "Thor" here, but not really. I do like the twist here that the Thors are the peace keepers but how is Beta Ray Bill still a thing?
This issue, more than any other, has neat ideas and yet raises so many questions on the creative decisions that you find yourself taken out of the book way more than you are invested. All of it stems from the fact that Dr. Doom created Battleworld, he created everything. This implies that he allowed for the creation of specific beings, like Beta Ray Bill...who is an alien. Battleworld is the only world in existence now, so how the heck did Beta Ray Bill come along to pick up a Mjolnir?
As the Thors celebrate, we get a very forced segue into the backstory of Battleworld. It's just like: hey, you're Thor! How did all this happen?
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| So, like, would saying "Doom damn it?" be like using God's name in vain? |
We cut back over to the Future Foundation, who are no longer of themselves and are dedicated solely to Dr. Doom. Ben and Dragon explore an anti-gravity place (roll with it) and discover the wreckage of a ship far too old for it to have existed before Dr. Doom's arrival on Battleworld. Nobody buys into it and thinks that it's just the matter around it screwing with their tech. That's another thing about Battleworld that we'll get into with a later review, but keep it in the back of your mind.
Meanwhile, our two Thors set out to do some of their God's justice, flying over one of the many sections of Battleworld: High Avalon, where the two Captain Britains reign, with Jamie Braddock being the "Baron" of the realm. Since I'm into world-building, I'm actually not too bothered with this exposition. Given that it's coming in a dialect that is very proper and medieval, there's a great fantasy tone to this part of the story. Things are beginning to feel big, like this is a world of great political strife and conflict that all worships a powerful God. There are squabbles but there is also a set justice system.
Of course this is mired by the old-Thor constantly saying "justice" like he were some deranged lunatic, but instead we get to see something even dumber:
Why. Just...why?
Why would Dr. Doom, as freaking God, decide to have villains running parts of his free-world. Beyond the Shield? Fine. They can't harm anyone because they can't get through the wall. But for Mr. Sinister to own his own part of Battleworld? If Dr. Doom, as we see later, does not want to be bothered with such small squabbles, then why would you ever let a villain lead a section of Battleworld? It's Mr. Sinister, he is going to cause problems just because he can. It's in his name! And did he really think putting Mr. Sinister so close to the "upstanding" community of High Avalon wasn't going to cause any problems?
I'm beginning to think Dr. Doom just became God so he could court Susan Storm. But that would be silly.
At Doomstadt, where the King and his Council sit guarded by Galactus (that's pretty cool), the two Thors arrive with Mr. Sinister while Baron Braddock awaits the trial to begin.
Ah, great, now we get the meat of the story! A trial between Jamie Braddock and Mr. Sinister! :D
Wait...
Yeah, not too much of a grand, big, "secret war" going on right now, is there? And, yes, I'll go ahead and spoil the fact that none of our heroes show up in this issue at all. Issue 2 of Secret Wars all serves as one big world-building exercise that, by the very next issue, is all completely pointless.
But of course: it's all so boring. Who honestly came to this comic wanting to see page after page dedicated to Brian and Jamie Braddock whine like school to Mr. Sinister? Even Dr. Strange, who is Doom's right-hand man, can't make them stop.
It basically boils down to this:
Braddocks: "You insulted us!"
Sinister: "I'm a villain, it's what I do."
Braddocks: "You're a poop-head!"
Sinister: "Fight me."
Braddocks: "Fine!"
*loses fight*
Braddocks: "I am dishonored and will now fight some zombies."
All with mediocre artwork in it. I will compliment Ribic that he does fight-sequences well, but he still has struggle with faces. Except Khonshu.
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| Female Khonshu? Yeah, that's pretty neat. |
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| Can this be the rest of the comic? No? Dang... |
How has Ultron, who's nearly taken over the world numerous times, not just blasted through the zombies and Annihilus's armies to bust through the Shield? If he really is self-replicating as the comic says, then will he just keep replicating but never improve? Ultron always made new copies but they were all better copies. By the time Ultron came around in Age of Ultron it was because he formulated a plan (a dumb one), but had good enough armor and tech to fight his enemies head-on and ultimately crush them.
Having Ultron and all these guys beyond the Shield is just fine by me, and it's a shame that we don't get to see more of our heroes going beyond the Shield, particularly since the old Thor mentions that they've had to fend off foes from there more than once. Do we?
If you read the tie-in, then yes. And that's really what this issue boils down to: setting up tie-in issues. After this is when they exploded: Thors, Age of Ultron vs. Marvel Zombies, and many others spawned right out of this issue since the world was established and if you wanted to read more, good luck and have fun. However, very few had any actual bearing on the plot of the main book, but this issue just leaves itself open for that. It's all exposition to open the world up, but none of it really makes me want to keep reading the main book. The only mystery left hanging over our heads is the one regarding the survivors.
Speaking of which...
Yes, it would seem that the Cabal managed to beat our heroes to Battleworld and are now confronted with a massive legion of Thors sent by Dr. Strange to quarantine the ship. The scene leading up to it has some serious padding issues, with it taking two full pages for the old Thor to die via spears being thrown in his face. This is space, mind you, that could've been used to give more members of the Cabal to have some dialogue or make some witty banter to show more about their character.
Thus, with the arrival of the Cabal, Thanos forces one of the scientists trying to escape to tell him where they are, revealing that they are, in fact, on Battleworld (also called Latverion, which I will take to calling it from now on because that sounds awesome).
Issue Two isn't as good as the first issue, and that's saying something. While the world-building in some parts is pretty interesting, the rest of the issue is an uninteresting court-case that was almost ten pages too long since Dr. Doom could have just raised his hand, everyone would've silenced, and he could make his decree. He is God and sometimes it seems the writers know that too well and other times it seems they just forget. His powers are inconsistent throughout the book and the decisions Dr. Doom made in designing Latverion are just head-scratching.
Both issues have some elements of cool, but are bogged down by boring dialogue, off-beat characters, and mediocre artwork. The story finally gets back on track after the events of the first issue in the final two pages of the second and there is still no sign of where the main heroes of the book are, despite it being obvious that they survived. For the most part, these two oversized issues feel larger because they wanted to add a big, epic scale, but just filled it with a bunch of nothing to try and wow us.
Next time, we get into what actually makes this story worth reading, including the best issue of the miniseries! See you then.
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