Secret Wars (2015) #6-8 Review

Previously in "Secret Wars": The multiverse ended! RIP. Dr. Doom, Dr. Strange, and the Molecule Man all took part in a coup, of sorts, to kill the Beyonders and siphon their powers before the end of days, creating Battleworld/ Doomstadt/ Latverion! Some heroes and villains survived and after a really boring issue, things got interesting. There are two Spider-Mans (Spider-Men?) Strange is dead. James Braddock has been dead. And everything is looking up! But don't worry, soon this book'll be dead in the water, too. 

I suppose now is a good time to mention the most famous part about Secret Wars from 2015 and it has nothing to do with the story itself. As many of you may already know, Secret Wars was hit by delays...and it was hit hard. Issue 6 was meant to come out sometime in June or July but was pushed all the way back to the end of August. They'd previously announced that the book would only be eight issues and there would be a standalone "ninth" issue in December to sort of give readers insight to what the heck happened to the Marvel Universe since the events. As it would turn out, though, this ninth issue became the canon ending and was released in January. 

The reasons for the delay behind the sixth issue, though, are very vague. Marvel has been hush-hush about it and at this point it doesn't really mean anything. Supposedly the delays were to allow Esad Ribic time to finish the artwork, though I also think there were some editorial issues going on. Not to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but isn't it interesting that the story takes a rather dramatic tone in a certain direction, then all of a sudden Hickman leaves Marvel? Don't quote me on that, but it's something that stood out to me. Sure a lot of delays with comic books regard the artists, which is understandable given the size of every issue, but there are some ocassions where delays occur because of story-based reasons. And Marvel, the company driven on continuity, probably wanted to get things aligned just right for their big re-release that October...which Secret Wars overshot. 

One of sales pitfalls of the series was that it was going to wrap up and then we would have a slew of new titles come out, with stories featured "months later" as a result. But it's a funny old world we live in and those stories were released simultaneous to Secret Wars, which was still wrapping. So books with big spoilers about events in Secret Wars, like Invincible Iron Man revealing the fate of Dr. Doom that we would see again in Issue 9, were kind of a downer. I'll touch on this more next time. 

But, let's stray away from the technical crap. Speaking now, you should be able to read the story in a coherent manner if you're reading from the trade (which I am not), as there are no signs of delays within the trade. It's not like you read half of it then the book closes for eight weeks and you just sit around waiting to get to read it again. So, I'm going into this not putting the angered bias in front of me like I had when I first read these books. Do I like them now, after having gotten over the delays? 

HA. 

The book starts three weeks after the events of the previous issue, which will open up doors both of confusion as well as of things making sense given where some characters are. Although I do wonder how big Battleworld really is if it takes some characters over three weeks to get around, but, hey, narrative convenience is a thing, I suppose. We open in Castle Doom, where Doom, Susan, and Valeria are chatting about growing rebellions in the zones and how Doom might be backed into a corner, but hey, they captured some folks, too. 

You know you suck when you get captured in the first page. 

Black Swan arrives to inform the reader, I mean Doom, about who these people are and then they're never mentioned again. Yup. Proxima and Corvus were just there to be captured and then they could maybe extrapolate information from them. As we'll see in these next few issues, the Cabal are really kind of pointless after the big threat they posed earlier. The Maker, Black Swan, and Thanos are the ones who only make a true difference. One of the Cabal is also a giant hypocrite, but we'll get to that next issue.

Basically, this introduction only serves to remind readers of what happened in Issue 5, which (I know I said I wouldn't mention it) is where I feel Marvel got their hands into the story. We didn't have these problems before. In Issue 3 there was mentioning on James Braddock and Mr. Sinister, but it was an afterthought to tie up that end. This is straight up retelling while also trying to give some character to Susan, but is otherwise pointless. 

The next scene follows the same pattern, and follows the pattern we've had all along of Esad Ribic drawing strange faces. 

I just don't understand anymore.

I mean seriously. What the heck kind of face is Bentley making? Is he trying to go cross-eyed? Is he trying to be sarcastic? He looks like he's about to suck air out of a tube. Valeria also looks like an old woman and she is only a child.

Urgh. With that out of the way we're sort of able to get the plot moving as the two Reed Richards continue to make probes not unlike the ones Ultimate Reed used in Ultimate Power, or at least this is probably a cute reference to that series. It's here we get the first reference to a new power in the war known as the Prophet, who might be under the control of the Maker and will have a disappointing and stupid reveal at the start of next issue. 

The Maker, for some reason, taunts Reed about Susan being married to Doom...which doesn't really make sense. The Maker went crazy because of his love for Susan that he couldn't see come to fruition. Unless he let her go and I'm unaware of it, in which case he's just being plain evil and regular Reed should have no problem punching him square in the face. Though I suppose Reed needs to keep the Maker on his good side. At this point, having another mind of his own level is either really good or really bad. 

Speaking of similar minds, though, we cut over to the Spider-Men as they find their way to the statues of Dr. Strange and Owen Reece, where they meet a new, but old, friend. 

Impressive how her face can change in just the space of a panel. 

Basically Val is only there for Peter to see a familiar face and to check out some more info on these new people around Latverion (HA I remembered this time!), and Peter also tells her that they weren't the ones who killed Stephen Strange. Pretty pointless, but I would like to point out the sheer stupidity that is the bottom right panel: "I'm just a kid, I can't handle the emotional disparity of realizing my father isn't freaking God."

1) Val, shut up. 2) What? Even if that were a decent excuse, you're a kid that's smarter than most, if not all, of the population of Latverion. Notice that it isn't Dr. Doom that's doing all of these scientific experiments, though we know that he can, it's Valeria along with the Foundation, who are a bunch of kids! When Strange died, Val didn't take it perfectly but she wasn't swearing revenge and ready to crush worlds like her younger brother. She promised her father that she would be strong, which is a very mature thing to do. She's been confused by the situation, but has put her scientific mindset in the forefront of all this and has come out pretty well, all things considered. But this one thing, the thing that solves the mystery and would wrap the story up so fast...she says no to. 3) Then what was the point of her story arc? Knowing this, and looking back, there is zero point to her story right now. There is a moment, in Issue 8, where we see her do something, but other than that, Val's arc throughout Secret Wars has been to just give her father info all of us already know, and try and keep the Foundation in line. How did she discover that there were secrets here? How did she find out that Peter and Miles would be around? 

No answers! And that's the problem with this issue in a nutshell. People just sort of know and do things without an explanation or showing of what happened in between. The problem with a timeskip, always, is that there is a "tell don't show" mindset to it. What makes this one even worse is that people have gone places, but their characters (except Doom), have gone absolutely nowhere. Val has really just been sitting around for three weeks on this information? Did she stumble upon it recently? Who knows! 

There has to be an editorial reason for this. I'm sure things were going to be delayed just a little, but they realized that they were going to overshoot the promised return dates for all of their launches and had to rush the events of this book significantly. Thus we have characters just sort of doing whatever and acting the same way they did when the story first began. Growth? Pft. Only Dr. Doom gets some growth by the end, but other than that he's been the same badass he's always been. 

Alright. I've said my piece. 

This book sucks. 

Peter and Miles had into the super-secret-energy place and find Owen Reece waiting for them, where he demands food. 

Miles gives him an eight year, three week old hamburger that Owen gobbles up before he admits to being the one that is powering Doom and the rest of Latverion! Really this scene doesn't go anywhere, but it is funny to see the Spiders interact with Owen. 

We cut over to Dr. Doom, who is meeting with some of his crew. Apocalypse demands they meet the Prophet in battle, while Doom wonders if one among them is truly he. Maestro admits that he can't be him, since if he wanted the throne he would take it (remember this) and Mr. Sinister just plays dumb about it all. Doom also swears off Strange for leaving him in this predicament, which is stupid considering how he killed Stephen himself. 

Bit of a backtrack there, Victor. 

We cut over to Namor and Black Panther arriving at Dr. Strange's hidden fortress, after they "braved the world sea, the great leviathan horde, and the hidden isle itself." Real shame we didn't get to see any of that. Sure sounds pretty rad. 

Oh, but speaking of rad. 

He. Has. The Power. 

So yeah, Strange was keeping that there as a fail-safe against Doom. Can't say I blame him. Also, I do like that it's Black Panther who gets the gauntlet for now, but I do wish there were another that would get it later on. Still, this is pretty intense. 

Back over in Castle Doom, Franklin is told the story of Latverion's Fantastic Four, which is overall pointless other than to establish that, yeah, Johnny is the Sun and Ben is missing. Speaking of Ben, where did he end up? 

I know who took the cookie from the cookie jar. 

Hmm. Yeah, this is pretty freaking cool. Doom made Ben Grimm into the Shield so that he could protect the two children he'd become like an uncle for, not realizing that Doom wanted him out of the way the same as Johnny. That's actually kind of endearing, and is very much in character for what Dr. Doom would do. However, Thanos tends to ruin the party, so when he informs him that Doom is full of crap, we end the issue with Ben Grimm finally getting up to head into war.

We're gonna need a Band-Aid. A biigggg Band-Aid. 

This comic isn't very good. It's pretty boring, and is sort of reminiscent of the second issue but does have a little more excitement to it toward the end as the plot finally progresses. However, this new tone and all the new unexplained things are sort of a precursor for what we'd get up until the end of the series.

Issue 7 opens with the Prophet standing before his army in grand style, ready to lead them in a charge against Doom. 

You know, all on its own, this page is pretty sweet. We're finally getting to see the Prophet as his armies stand before the World Tree, ready to invade Doomstadt and cast out God himself! People are united under this ruthless man, who has conquered the high and low lands! And who could this man, no, god-slayer, possibly be?! 

...What?

Maximus, Issue 3: "Violence is for barbarians."

Maximus, Issue 7: "I'M THE SUPER VIOLENT PROPHET YOU IDIOTS DUH YOU GUYS ARE DUMB I'M NOT A HYPOCRITE." 

I could go on another rant on how utterly stupid this reveal is, but considering his ultimate fate, this is barely worth glancing over anyway. Eh, actually, that's not true. The Prophet does initiate the final battle of this war...or, rather, the only battle of the "war"...so I guess there is some merit to his existence. 

Doom calls for his Thors to come and the battle begins down below Doomstadt, where even Captain Marvel and Mr. Sinister arrive! And then Mr. Sinister is decapitated. Yay? 

In Doomgard, a riot is going on that probably started in the Thors tie-in book to Secret Wars since there was no hinting that other Thors thought Doom was an imposter, but all of a sudden we see the Thors jumping into battle against Doom's armies! 

Yeah, this is pretty rad. 

I've gotta say that with every strange face that Esad Ribic draws, he has a pretty epic-looking battle sequence to counter it. Kudos.

If it seems like I'm just sort of glancing through this issue it's only because it's basically one long fight scene and there isn't much to comment on. One big thing in the fight itself that happens is that Maestro arrives with an army of Hulks, but just last issue he said he wouldn't take the throne unless he wanted to. I guess he saw everyone else fighting and rather than wait for the dust to settle, he just dove into the fray because reasons. Also: Maestro having Hulks is probably another thing that relates to a tie-in book. All bad event comics have one thing in common: necessary tie-ins. They also have the villain sitting around in the background when he could end this battle. 

I mean, how easy would it be for Doom to stand up and just rain energy beams from the sky on everyone down there? He created Latverion with apparently precise decisions, what's stopping him here? This battle should be over in ten seconds with Doom's intervention! 

Reed, away from the fighting, contacts Black Panther and Namor, who have reached a part of the Shield. Reed stresses the importance of the plan and Namor reminds the reader about T'Challa spouting something about "the king of the dead," which makes no sense if you haven't read some of Hickman's other stuff. But the point is this, the ending of Issue 7: 

Black Panther is now the King of the Dead, with an Infinity Gauntlet to boot. Overall, not too shabby of a day for him. 

If you like a lot of action in your comic, you'll like this issue. If you wanted to see the story actually go somewhere, you'll be a little less inclined. Black Panther makes the most amount of progress while the war rages, and it's still a war I argue that could just as well be over with Doom's intervention. However, there are still some forces left to arrive, and there is promise for one heck of a climax coming up for this major battle. 

This issue also makes it feel like Ribic stepped up his game. Maybe it's because there's more large action sequences he's good at, or it's because he didn't have to draw Susan or Valeria. 

Issue 8 begins with Maker, Reed, and Star-Lord flying over the battle headed for the power source that Spider-Man informed them about off-panel. They're trying to get as close to the danger as possible so that they can hit the source where it hurts. A problem arises, though, when they get something of a stowaway. 

Well, that sucks. Hope they have insurance. 

Back at the battle, Ben finally arrives and trounces the Maestro while Doom dispatches Black Swan to deal with some intruders in the castle. Susan seems a little torn about Ben's arrival, too, only to be confounded when Franklin, riding Galactus, arrives to confront him. Uh-oh. 

You know, it does suck that Ben is fighting Franklin, but it is pretty sweet to see him get a few good licks in on Galactus. 

Doom, though, realizes that there's a bit of a hole in the world as Thanos arrives with the Annihilation Horde (though there is no mention of where Ultron is throughout this, which is strange). Ben also realizes that Franklin is Susan's daughter and allows Franklin to kill him, since he thinks that is what's best. Kill Count: 1. 

Susan can barely stand this when Valeria informs her that she may have some answers to all of this. Down below, Black Swan finds Star-Lord and mortally wounds him before Star-Lord reveals his ace. 

I guess Groot had some Miracle-Gro in him or something.

So after that pointless sacrifice (seriously, what was the point of that other than to kill off Star-Lord and Black Swan?) we see Susan finally confront Reed in front of the statues. And that's fine, clearly a cliffhanger for the finale. But the real meet-up happens after, where Doom confronts Thanos! Oh boy, this is gonna be one heck of a--!

K. O. 

This scene is strange for me. When I first read this, I was kind of peeved. The page building up to this was pretty darn hype, but then it's over in one shot. Though, I do suppose that Doom taking out the Phoenix in one shot does make this okay. I just wish Thanos could have thrown a punch or two, like how the Phoenix blasted Doom with everything he had. Though it was great to see Thanos be a smug punk up until his end.

Speaking of ends, though, a doorway appears on the battlefield as various Marvel Zombies suddenly appear, and Doom knows what is coming. Thus, the issue ends as the King of the Dead finally marches onto the battlefield with his army of millions. 

I want you, Victor, to be my girl. 

Issue 8 is the closest we get to the book getting back on track. While there is good action to be found here, it still feels focused a bit too much on all of that. Not to mention that Ben and Star-Lord die, which is sad to see and doesn't really help the narrative all that much. Ben's death does in a way, as it forces Valeria's hand to finally bring Susan to the truth, but Star-Lord's death almost feels like it's there just to serve as a gateway for an "I am Groot" reference. Ribic's art is still good here, since there is quite a bit of action.

This chunk of books is probably the worst of the bunch, though. Issue 1 did have a lot of action, but it also had a lot of scope to it. It was more than just a world ending, it was the entire multiverse ending and everyone was desperate to find an answer. But here, it's just a war being waged that happened only now for whatever reason. Questions are raised and never answered, time is wasted on pointless dialogue and backstories that we never needed, and everything is beginning to feel far more rushed than it had to reach the ending. 

Next week, we conclude our journey through this event with the end of Latverion in Secret Wars #9. And thank goodness. 

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